Let it Heal / by Pepsi Cocaine
Psylo clothing has always been designed for free-thinking individuals who believe in free expression. But how do our alternative clothes serve this purpose? We invited alternative model and blogger Luca to share from her experience;
"First, let’s introduce myself. I’m Pepsi Cocaine, an alternative model. I’m 20 years old and I’m from the Netherlands. My style is dark and edgy, with a funky twist. I’m very comfortable with dressing differently and expressing myself in everything I do. But that used to be different. I have a rough past, which left some visible marks all over my skin.
I have self-harmed for about 4-5 years. I was a lonely teen, who felt used, misunderstood, and lost. It took me until I was 18 years old until I fully realized my full potential, and that self-mutilation was prohibiting that. When you are addicted to something, it’s really hard to see that’s not making you happier in the long run, because it feels so good at first. But nobody deserves it. Nobody should be sitting on the bathroom floor, crying and trying to stop yourself from harming yourself. It’s like a constant battle. But you have to try to win it. Yes, it will be very hard, but it gets easier over time.
What’s hard about physical self-harm is that even after you’ve quit, people will still see it. It will never be something you can forget about, or completely move past. In this world so focused on a super narrow beauty standard, having “flaws” makes you an outsider, and if you have created them yourself, people get really uncomfortable. I’ve been told so many times that people would rather have me cover it up and wear long sleeves because they don’t want to see it. These are scars that are at least 1-2 years old, if not older, it’s not like it’s gory or anything. It’s not the sight they can’t stand, it’s my confidence that confuses them. No, I don’t like having skin like this. But I’ve accepted it now. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s my reality. I’m not going to deny it, and neither should you. Whether your scars are visible or not, rock them, and don’t let anybody tell you that you’re worth any less. Everyone is scarred in some way, and you have to let them heal! Allow yourself to let them heal, covering up is only going to make it take longer. You aren’t perfect, you’ve been hurt, but you are also very strong. So stop that one bad habit that you have, that you casually joke about when people point them out. Because deep down you know it’s not a good thing to do. Let it heal!
For me expressing myself in my appearance was very helpful. I constantly felt oppressed in my own skin, and I was trying very hard to conform to an image I thought I was supposed to be but wasn’t actually me. For me, it’s really important to visually express myself. I’m a very creative person and creating looks that show who I am - is an important part of my identity. As an alternative model, I’ve had the pleasure to show all parts of myself just in the way I dress. Brands like Psylo, make clothes with an actual story. There’s symbolism in it, a meaning. It allows you to tell a story just by dressing a certain way, and by doing what you feel free. Because you don’t feel that inner oppression anymore!"
- Pepsi Cocaine, Sep 2018
Are you comfortable with expressing yourself with how you look?
Are you comfortable with your body?
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